To the readers of Na Pueo,

Hello everyone, my name is Abigail Yagi and I will be the advice columnist this year. If you have any questions about relationships, school, or personal life, feel free to submit them and I’ll be happy to answer to the best of my ability. Don’t worry, the submissions are anonymous, so ask away! If I don’t feel confident in my own knowledge, I will consult professionals because I want you guys to conquer your problems! I am looking forward to answering all of your questions and I hope my advice is helpful. 

If you have questions, feel free to email [email protected]. 

Best of luck,

 -Abby

Q: How do you become more confident in yourself?

A: First of all, if you think you’re the only person who struggles with this and it seems like everyone around you exudes the utmost confidence, you are wrong. Many teens and even adults struggle with self-confidence. The bad news is that you can’t get confidence in yourself overnight. The good news is that self-confidence is very achievable and once achieved, you will become more successful, and more importantly, learn your worth. Here are some tips to get your confidence journey started, according to the website Mind Tools. First, STOP the negative talk. Negative talk can ruin your confidence, so try thinking positively about yourself and in the hard circumstances. Another tip is to make small goals for yourself so that when you reach those goals, your confidence will start to build. Once you feel like you’ve got a lot of confidence points up your sleeve, then it’s time to stretch yourself and make your goals bigger and tougher to achieve. Sure there’s more room for failure, but there’s great room for reward. In the end, no matter what anyone says about you, both positive and negative things, you are ultimately the one to determine your confidence. 

Q: Is looking for physical attractiveness first shallow or normal?

A: It is completely normal. Being physically attracted to your boyfriend or girlfriend is essential in a relationship. When you meet someone for the first time, you automatically make judgements about their outside appearance. If we’re going to get scientific here, our brains automatically determine if a person is a worthy ‘mate’. It sounds weird, but it’s our primitive nature. Now, I’m not saying that it’s healthy to scroll through your explore feed and see who catches your attention.  If you’re determining your choices on dating someone purely based on looks, it could be dangerous. A girl or guy might be a 10 out of 10, but that might not correlate with what happens when they open their mouth. I suggest that you get to know the person better and if things go well, you’ll find them even more attractive then when you first met them. We’ve always been taught “It’s what’s on the inside that counts,” and that has truth to it, but everyone deserves someone who’s nice to look at too.  

Q: Due to stress from school, a lot of students may be having a hard time. What can they do to relieve stress or process their emotions?

A: I definitely agree that school can be the source of incredible amounts of stress and triggers of different emotions. Whether it’s staying up all night to prepare for a presentation, not getting the test score you were hoping for, or the fear that you’ll never get into your dream college– or all of them combined–these factors can make it harder for any student to keep their sanity. 

School counselor Cathy Ching said that the most important part of dealing with stress is self-care. Are you getting enough sleep? Eating properly? Do you exercise? All these basic tasks you don’t think affect your school life actually have a big impact on your performance in the classroom and well-being. Another way to relieve stress from school is by not making school your life! Finding a balance between school and doing things you enjoy is essential for keeping your sanity. Mrs. Ching shared her thoughts about Mid-Pacific students and their priorities. 

“It’s actually a myth. You don’t need all of that (rigorous course load, joining clubs, sports, extracurriculars),” said Ching. “Do your school work, do one or two activities, and find me-time. Find that balance in life,”.

Maybe you have attempted to do these things before but you still find yourself stressed. The last thing you should do is give up or be discouraged. These tips are all good habits and it’s hard to break the bad ones you have. Just keep trying!