Q: How do you maintain a long distance relationship?

A: Long distance relationships also known as ‘LDR’ can be seen as daunting and maybe not even worth it. I personally have not been in one, but I know people that were in LDRs that are now happily married. Don’t let the ‘what ifs’ discourage you if you think that your significant other is worth waiting for. It’s very possible to maintain an LDR and I believe distance can make the heart grow fonder. I will give you a few tips on how to make it last, according the youtube channel Psych2Go (great channel by the way). The first tip is one I think is very important for not only your partner’s sake but for your own which is to, not jump to conclusions. Life is unexpected and things might come up in your partner’s life that interrupt your regular communicating schedule. Know that when you assume the worst like your partner is cheating on you or they grew bored of you, remember that there is no evidence to back up your anxious thoughts and that it’s better to get answers directly from your partner rather than answering them yourself. Another thing to remember when in an LDR is the phrase ‘QUALITY over quantity.’ You might think that texting every minute of the day is a way to keep the relationship alive, but this might backfire because you might see yourself talking about the same things and eventually getting burnt out. Try having meaningful conversations instead. That way, you can appreciate your partner’s intellect and ideas, which are conversations you can hold onto. The last tip I have is to give your partner a personal gift they can keep with them while you’re apart. Examples could be stuffed animals, jewelry, or a hoodie. Try to give something that has meaning in your relationship. If you decide to give LDR a shot, I wish you the best and remember that it all boils down to EFFORT.  

Q: I used to have a really close friend and somehow we’ve drifted apart. I’ve found that I’m more alone than I originally thought and don’t know who my true friends are anymore. What should I do?

A: I wanted to answer this question because I know that friends are what makes school a lot more fun and bearable. Friendships are the most important types of relationships because no matter what stage of life you are in, friends are always there no matter what. If you feel like you don’t know who your true friends are, than I suggest being more of a friend to them. It sounds strange but trust me, this will weed out the good friends from the ones that probably aren’t worth keeping. When people see that you’re making an effort to hang out with them or know how their day was, the true friends will be a friend back to you. If that doesn’t work out, try opening your circle of friends and get to know other people. It might seem like everyone already has their group of friends settled by this time of the school year, but it’s never too late to start a friendship. You will be surprised how many awesome people you’ll meet and how many great conversations you’ll have with people that could be sitting right next to you in class. You never know until you try! People are also more willing to be friends with someone who is kind to everyone, even if they’re a stranger. With these suggestions, I hope you find meaningful and genuine friendships. 

Q: How can I stand up to bullies that keep attacking me?

A: I’m sorry that you feel attacked and I don’t know your specific situation, but I will try my best to give you advice on how to best deal with your bullies. Cathy Ching, school counselor, said the ideal way to deal with a bully is to confront them. 

“Use ‘I’ statements,” said Ching. “Telling them ‘I don’t like the way you’re talking’ supposed to using ‘you’ statements is more effective.”

Your bullies might be joking or not know that what they’re saying is hurting you and they never will unless you communicate your feelings. Bullies usually tease you on something they might think you’re ashamed or insecure about. So, I think you can take away their power by owning up to your actions and be unapologetic for being yourself. I also think sharing your experience with friends will help you feel less alone and provide a support system. Maybe they can help stop the bullying from occurring or let you focus on the positive things in your life rather than the negative. If the bullying continues, telling a teacher or a dean is the best way to prevent it from occurring again, and shows the bully that their actions have consequences. At the end of the day, bullies are human just like everyone else and they know their power is on thin ice. People hurt because they’re hurt, so if you try to understand that and try to find compassion, I think you will be free from having anger towards them. Just remember that the bullying will eventually stop, so don’t let them cloud all the good that’s right in front of you.