Q: How do I come out to my parents? 

A: Hi friend! When discovering who you are, it’s important to tell the people you love and care about. Coming out to your parents might seem a little more difficult because you’re not sure if they’ll accept you, or maybe you know that they are against it. Hopefully this advice will make telling your parents a little more clear and less daunting. 

I haven’t had to deal with this situation before, so I decided to interview Camaron Miyamoto, Director of the LGBTQ+ Center at University of Hawaiʻi at Mānoa, to get his advice. Miyamoto said it’s important to be honest with ourselves about who we are.

“Know that no matter what, we’re the way we’re supposed to be,” said Miyamoto. “It’s an important time to share all the parts of who we are with our parents.”

First, figure out what kind of support you have. Who do you want to talk with as you go through the process of talking about things with your parents? Who can you turn to for additional emotional support? Is there support? There are many resources online for your parents as well if they have any questions. Try the website, healthychildren.org.

If you know your parents won’t be accepting to you coming out, here is some advice for them to understand what you’re going through. Miyamoto suggested your parents could meet with other parents that gone through the same situation. If they don’t know anyone personally, they can reach out to the LGBTQ+ Center in Waikiki.

“They can teach each other to continue to love and support their child,” said Miyamoto.

No matter how you parents react, good or bad, just know that you are loved and you are not alone. Good luck!

Q: You and your best friend like the same girl, how should we choose who gets to go for the girl?

A: I think you’re asking the wrong question. Instead of wondering how you should choose, maybe you should let the girl choose!  A relationship is a two way street after all. There’s no point in wasting your time trying to figure out who should go for her when you can just ask the source herself. It’s also important to remember that girls aren’t a prize, so I’m hoping that you and your best friend aren’t making this a competition because that isn’t considerate of how she feels. Who knows, she might not like either of you. Also, ask yourselves why you like her in the first place. If the reasons are surface level, then maybe you both are better off as friends. If it’s truly meant to be, then the opportunity will present itself. Relationships don’t usually end well when they’re forced. Think before you act, and good luck to the both of you.

Q: How do I focus on homework at home? I easily get distracted by things around me and thoughts in my mind. 

I’m pretty sure most of us find sitting down and pumping out our homework a challenge. Especially with our anxious thoughts thinking about what we need to do next and what we would rather be doing. I even find it difficult to sit down and write this column right now. One thing that can be distracting to me is music. I’m the type of person who can’t help but sing to every song I listen to. So if you have the same issue, I play instrumental music instead so that I still can work but not in complete silence. I also suggest finding a space in your house that no one will bother you. Tell your family ahead of time if you don’t want to be disturbed. Another important tip is make sure to do your work on a desk or the kitchen table and not in your bed. Your bed is your resting place to escape from work and according to the website of American College of Healthcare Sciences, you get less sleep at night if you bring your work to bed. This is because your brain recognizes what place is your work environment and where it is to rest. If these two places overlap, your brain will keep you up, thinking that you have to be doing work. I know it’s a struggle but I believe in you! Best of luck.